Best Ever Titanic Jokes - Essential Reading For Your Cruise Vacation

Published: 14th June 2011
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RMS Titanic, when built, was the biggest cruise line in the planet, unmatched in opulence and luxury. The ship boasted each entertainment imaginable, as well as a squash court, a swimming pool, a gymn, a Turkish tub and a magnificent library. The furnishing was terribly stylish, and the dining space walls were fitted with extensive oak wood panelling. The ship was created in the Harland & Wolff shipyard in Belfast, and after a abundant-publicised launch, underwent ocean trials as it steamed right down to Southampton on the south coast of England. On the ten April 1912, carrying a total of 2223 passengers and crew, the ship set sail on its maiden trip to New York. Four days into its voyage, steaming through a dark and cold Atlantic night, the Titanic hit an iceberg and sank 2 hours and forty minutes later, with the loss of 1517 lives.

How could such a terrible tragedy become the topic of everyday humour? Possibly responsible are the owner's of the ship, the White Star Line. To quote their widely-read publicity brochure produced in 1910 for the sister ships Titanic and Olympic, 'these 2 wonderful vessels are designed to be unsinkable'. Even during that fateful night in 1912, when the New York office of White Start Line was told that the Titanic was in difficulties, White Star's Vice President, Philip Franklin said 'We place absolute confidence within the Titanic. We have a tendency to believe the boat is unsinkable'.

Thus this hotch-potch of tragedy, misfortune, and irony provide us an excuse to laugh away the capricious and fateful nature of our existence.

Now, down to finding out the great jokes from the unhealthy (and there certainly are a ton of dangerous). The following are the Editor's favorites, so apologies if your own picks aren't present.

* What was the last issue anyone said on the Titanic? 'I apprehend I ordered ice however this is often ridiculous!'

* What sort of cake do they have for desert on the Titanic? Upside-down cake!

* Which ship can never get hit by an iceberg? FriendSHIP!!

* What goes down well with ice? The Titanic!

* What do you get if you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? Regarding halfway!

* The chief designer of the Titanic had a lisp. That's unthinkable!

* On the Titanic the captain calls a meeting of his officers:

'I actually have some good news and a few bad news. Which do you would like to hear initial?'

'The good news', replies a political candidate.

'We have a tendency to'll get eleven Oscars.'

* Titanic was concerning to sink. People on the ship were shouting, crying, running and praying. A passenger went up to the captain to ask him an issue.

Passenger: How way are we from land?

Captain: 2 miles...

Passenger: Only 2 miles, then why are these fools making thus much noise. I will swim that way simply.


Passenger: In which direction should I swim?

Captain: Downward..

* Therefore there were some good things that came out of the Titanic sinking:

According to the news, the last survivor was fond of saying: 'If it hadn't been for the ship taking place, I'd be an American'.

*Sign seen in an office: The difference between this place and the Titanic is.... that they had a band!

*Management consultant to crewmember -

Consultant: To make sure, are we tend to in need of lifebelts or lifeboats?

Crewmember: Both, Sir.

Consultant. Excellent, we tend to've created savings across the board.

*Heard when the ship went down...

Therefore this isn't New York?

It's still better than Carnival!

Thus has the all-night buffet been canceled?

How huge a stick with it can I take on the lifeboat?

Do you mind if I hold your baby for a second?

This is undoubtedly the last time I book a low-cost repositioning cruise!

Ah, so this is what they mean by 'cruise to nowhere'.

We tend to can't afford to prevent here long. I've got a plane to catch in New York.

Nobody reads my tweets, however if we have a tendency to get one amongst the celebrities on board to twitter this, it's going to hit the news!

Ooh my wife's fallen overboard. Hold the lifeboat. I've need to update my facebook status.

With just one or two of these jokes, you'd be well armed for a few lightweight humour when dinner on your cruise ship. However imagine you were one among the passengers on MS Explorer, a cruise ship which sank off Antartica in 2007. All 154 passengers and crew spent several hours floating on life rafts in icy seas, before being picked up by MS Nordnorge, a Norwegian cruise ship fortuitously cruising in the vicinity. The shipwrecked passengers and crew kept up their spirits by telling Titanic jokes to at least one another. Therefore, just in case you were ever to fall into this miserable predicament, it may be wise to recollect more than just one or 2!

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